PL 134 Facing the Lower Self Video presentation by Jan Rigsby 1 hr 36 mins https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHeMDBW2YJo Subtitles edited by Shakila Faqeeri 0:00:51.360,0:00:56.100 Jan Rigsby (Host): So good afternoon or good morning. And this is October 10th, 0:00:56.160,0:01:05.440 2009. And this teleconference is on... Well, it's on the lower self, really. And what I 0:01:05.720,0:01:11.180 did was I'm going to be doing some presentations on the Pathwork book, "The 0:01:11.190,0:01:17.880 Undefended Self" which was written by Susan Thesanga. And what her book does is she 0:01:17.880,0:01:23.400 brings a lot of different concepts together and creates a synergy of these concepts, 0:01:24.030,0:01:28.440 which are really useful for teaching and they're a refreshing way to look at some of 0:01:28.440,0:01:35.400 the material. So you don't have to have the book to understand the teleconference because 0:01:35.400,0:01:40.710 it refers to several lectures. But you will have to have some knowledge of three or four 0:01:40.710,0:01:47.610 lectures or look them up later. On the website, I have mounted a worksheet that has 0:01:47.640,0:01:55.710 three pages of notes from The Undefended Self. And also some quotes from Lecture 14, 0:01:55.710,0:02:02.520 which is Higher Self, Lower Self, and Masks. And also Lecture 134, the Concept of Evil. 0:02:03.600,0:02:08.040 And the worksheet and a few other things. So the material is there on the web. You can 0:02:08.340,0:02:16.440 download it in PDF format. What I did for this teleconference was I made an outline 0:02:16.470,0:02:23.730 based on the chapter. And I just listed the subheadings that Susan made and thought that 0:02:23.730,0:02:29.640 I would march through them and add to, and go back and forth with them. If you have any 0:02:29.640,0:02:33.750 question while I'm talking, please feel free to go ahead and speak up. I'm happy to have 0:02:33.750,0:02:39.060 your questions. In fact, I enjoy them. It gives me, number one, an idea of what you 0:02:39.060,0:02:43.980 might be thinking or what perceptions you might be having of the material. And 0:02:43.980,0:02:50.340 secondly, it also can take us in some interesting directions. So I encourage you to 0:02:50.340,0:02:54.630 consider that your questions could be relevant not only for you, but for others who 0:02:54.630,0:03:00.510 are listening in. That's the wonderful quality of universality in this kind of 0:03:00.510,0:03:04.800 material. So let's begin... 0:03:04.780,0:03:11.920 The title of the chapter is called "Facing the Lower Self." And the first point that she 0:03:11.920,0:03:23.410 makes is that facing the lower self is, in effect, an act of the higher self. That being 0:03:23.410,0:03:31.720 willing to confront what is distorted or not working or negative within yourself is a 0:03:31.720,0:03:41.080 major turning point in spiritual work. Because the deepest work that you will be 0:03:41.110,0:03:49.000 able to do will be the work on yourself, on your spiritual path, on your spiritual 0:03:49.000,0:03:57.880 principles, and values. And on how you act and react with the real world. This is, to 0:03:57.880,0:04:06.460 some extent, the only truth control that we have. All other control is illusory. Because 0:04:06.550,0:04:12.340 it depends on the cooperation of other people, or even the cooperation of gravity, 0:04:12.700,0:04:18.130 or the cooperation of timing and circumstance, or many, many other aspects. 0:04:19.630,0:04:27.370 But the one thing that we can control, absolutely, unequivocably, is our attitude 0:04:28.510,0:04:38.560 towards what happens at any given moment. So in the act of turning around and facing the 0:04:38.560,0:04:44.950 parts of us that aren't up to snuff, that aren't as enlightened as we would like them 0:04:44.950,0:04:53.650 to be, and parts of us that simply enjoy negativity... in facing up to that part us, 0:04:54.730,0:05:01.510 what we are saying is, "I will be willing to look at all. I will be willing to look at 0:05:01.600,0:05:09.580 everything." And the phrase that Susan uses in this book a few times is to "embrace." But 0:05:09.580,0:05:18.040 that may be confusing for some people. The term "embrace" does not mean accept, although 0:05:18.040,0:05:25.270 there needs to be acceptance of what is. It doesn't mean that you "approve of" or "like" 0:05:26.080,0:05:35.380 or "enjoy" what you see or what you are. But there is a quality of saying "yes" to it for 0:05:35.380,0:05:40.750 what it is in that moment. It is the equivalent you might consider... 0:05:43.050,0:05:47.580 Sorry about that. I have a camera that seems to want to turn off after four minutes 0:05:47.580,0:05:51.750 sometimes. No matter how delicately or wonderfully I press the button, it simply 0:05:51.750,0:05:55.410 says, "nope, four minutes later, I will turn off." So it's back on. 0:05:57.670,0:06:05.080 So in terms of embracing your lower self this is not an acceptance in the sense of "I love 0:06:05.080,0:06:11.980 you, I want you just the way you are" but rather an acceptance that that is the way we 0:06:11.980,0:06:21.430 are. So in embracing your lower self, embracing the entirety of who you are, it 0:06:21.430,0:06:30.430 allows you to have a willingness to look. And it is the willingness to look that creates an 0:06:30.460,0:06:38.770 awareness. So the joke is, without awareness, you can't see anything. So no matter what 0:06:38.770,0:06:43.540 your intentions are, no matter how good your intentions are, if you do the equivalent of 0:06:43.540,0:06:49.540 walking along with your eyes closed, you're going to have limited perception and limited 0:06:49.570,0:06:55.180 ability to see what's going on, to interact appropriately, and to address things that 0:06:55.180,0:07:02.350 aren't going well. And by opening our eyes, sometimes it is quite true, that we see 0:07:02.350,0:07:10.480 things that upset us or distress us, that we wish were not there. We may feel shame about 0:07:10.480,0:07:19.570 it. And we may feel despair about it. But still, it's important to have our eyes open 0:07:19.840,0:07:29.080 to be able to see what's... WHAT IS... before we have any chance whatsoever of transforming 0:07:29.410,0:07:38.320 what is. So in facing the lower self, we are changing the dynamic from simply-- in Lecture 0:07:38.350,0:07:44.920 127 the phrase is "automatic reflex." And what's referred to there is that, for a 0:07:44.920,0:07:51.370 period of time, we simply live life. And we're not going through self-examination. 0:07:51.670,0:07:57.460 We're not looking inward as much. We're simply dealing with what comes at us. And 0:07:57.460,0:08:01.690 then there comes a time where we slow down and we start asking questions and we start 0:08:01.690,0:08:09.460 wondering what else is possible. And it is at this point that we go based on Lecture 127, 0:08:09.460,0:08:14.890 from "automatic reflex" into "awareness." 0:08:16.430,0:08:26.150 Now, awareness does not solve things. But it is the next step. And for the understanding, 0:08:26.150,0:08:33.020 which is step three in Lecture 127. And for understanding to begin, you need to see 0:08:33.020,0:08:38.150 what's out there, what's happening, what's going on. And then step four of that Lecture 0:08:38.150,0:08:44.420 is a "knowing" an inner acceptance and sense that you are comfortable with what is and 0:08:44.420,0:08:51.410 ready to go on again. So facing the lower self being a major turning point in how we 0:08:51.410,0:08:52.370 approach life. 0:08:54.790,0:08:56.290 So what is the lower self? 0:08:58.100,0:09:05.990 I like Susan's explanation in that she describes the lower self as the "creative 0:09:06.020,0:09:08.420 center of negativity." 0:09:09.920,0:09:18.440 Consider that... "the creative center of negativity." So there IS negativity. But our 0:09:18.440,0:09:26.000 lower self is where we work with it, where we enact it, where we are attracted to it, where 0:09:26.000,0:09:34.760 we play with it. And the important thing to remember in that is "creative center." So 0:09:34.760,0:09:41.030 another point that she makes is that energy is like yin, yang. There is no bad energy, 0:09:41.030,0:09:49.460 good energy. Energy just is. Energy can be used for negative purposes. Negative can also 0:09:49.460,0:09:57.770 be used for positive purposes. So the lower self is a place where there's a congealing. 0:09:58.070,0:10:05.660 There's a density of negative energy that is turning around and active and doing things. 0:10:07.010,0:10:14.540 And so if you think of it like that, the transformation of the lower self becomes a 0:10:14.540,0:10:21.320 matter of releasing that energy, of dissipating the negativity, releasing the 0:10:21.320,0:10:24.620 energy so that it can be used for other purposes. 0:10:27.810,0:10:35.430 So the second thing that our lower self is is a defense against pain. I'll go into a moment 0:10:35.460,0:10:41.340 about how the lower self begins to activate within human beings. But basically, the lower 0:10:41.340,0:10:49.170 self is a defense against pain. The dilemma is-- it may be real pain, or it may be 0:10:49.200,0:10:56.760 imagined pain. It may be that we think something hurts or we're afraid that it will 0:10:56.760,0:11:03.960 hurt. And so we put up our defenses to prevent that from happening. Instead of, once 0:11:03.960,0:11:08.700 again, using the word "embrace." Instead of reaching out and saying, "yes, this is 0:11:08.730,0:11:14.550 uncomfortable, this situation is uncomfortable. I don't like it. It upsets and 0:11:14.550,0:11:19.590 frightens me and makes me nervous. But I still need to see what's here. I still need 0:11:19.590,0:11:26.520 to explore it." That doesn't mean that I actively seek pain. But I don't necessarily 0:11:26.550,0:11:32.670 automatically retract from it and do everything I can to avoid it. 0:11:34.910,0:11:43.880 The lower self doesn't want to experience pain, on any level, for any reason. And so, 0:11:43.880,0:11:50.660 as a defense, it doesn't judge whether pain is a growing pain, or unnecessary pain, or 0:11:50.660,0:11:56.960 an, unfortunate, but temporary. It doesn't make those evaluations. The lower self simply 0:11:56.960,0:12:06.890 says: "Pain, bad. No pain, good" And locks us into activities and attitudes where we will 0:12:06.890,0:12:12.110 not experience more pain than is... then we can possibly avoid. 0:12:14.040,0:12:24.030 The third aspect of the lower self is that it is reaction. And in reaction, we are going 0:12:24.030,0:12:31.920 into a sense of numbness. We are saying "no" to an experience. So keeping in mind that 0:12:31.920,0:12:38.190 it's a creative center of negativity...it kind of knows that. And it is defended 0:12:38.190,0:12:44.700 against pain. And one of the ways to defend against pain is to shut off feelings. So the 0:12:44.700,0:12:53.010 lower self becomes numbness. It becomes reactionary, in that, it will not consider 0:12:53.370,0:12:58.410 the value of something. It simply says "good for me" or "bad for me" and makes a judgment 0:12:58.770,0:13:07.950 based on limited goals and vision. And negates anything that doesn't feel good or 0:13:07.950,0:13:14.040 comfortable for it. So it's a reaction. And it acts out of numbness because to some 0:13:14.040,0:13:21.780 degree it has shut off feelings as part of its defense against pain. So that's what the 0:13:21.780,0:13:31.800 lower self is. The distinction between "lower self" and "evil" is explained as "evil" being 0:13:31.830,0:13:41.100 a splitting off of consciousness. So again, in a later point, I'll talk about some of the 0:13:41.130,0:13:49.260 religious and karmic and... and stuff. But in terms of the splitting off of consciousness, 0:13:50.580,0:13:58.110 the Pathwork presents that life, human life, is a school. 0:13:59.470,0:14:06.280 A school for learning and transformation. And that in this school, if you want to take that 0:14:06.280,0:14:10.900 analogy just a little bit further... let's say we go through grades. Instead of 0:14:10.930,0:14:15.940 incarnatory incarnations or lifetimes, it's like we go through different classes and 0:14:15.940,0:14:22.840 different experiences moving up the evolutionary spiritual ladder so that we have 0:14:22.900,0:14:29.590 more and more awareness. And we are transforming more and more of this closed off 0:14:29.590,0:14:36.670 numb, fearful attitude and becoming more enlightened, more willing, allowing our heart 0:14:36.670,0:14:37.390 to open. 0:14:39.430,0:14:44.590 But "evil" goes back to the initial split. 0:14:47.450,0:14:55.700 The cosmology of the Guide parallels many of the (most of) the religions and philosophies, 0:14:55.700,0:15:01.070 religious philosophies that humans have developed. And that is that there was some 0:15:01.070,0:15:10.340 kind of initial separation from the Divine. And in that separation, there is a "NO!" 0:15:11.480,0:15:16.010 Rather than, an "I want to explore. Wouldn't this be interesting? Let's all have fun 0:15:16.010,0:15:16.490 together." 0:15:16.930,0:15:23.200 There is a rejection of the Divine that creates a split, that creates a separate type 0:15:23.200,0:15:33.160 of consciousness. And this is the concept of "evil" that Pathwork works with. So what 0:15:33.160,0:15:39.100 happens with the lower self, in terms of human form, is that we wind up interacting 0:15:39.250,0:15:47.650 with evil, being attracted to it, allowing it in our lives, not taking care to keep it 0:15:48.250,0:15:56.890 contained or away from us. Because the split of evil, the split of consciousness, actually 0:15:56.920,0:16:04.870 feels like there is less pain. In that separation from the Divine, we cut off our 0:16:04.870,0:16:14.440 sensitivity-- become more separate, more alone. And yet, 'more numb' can feel like a 0:16:14.440,0:16:24.280 positive. It can feel calmer, quieter, even safer to be separated from the Divine. 0:16:25.120,0:16:29.500 Because the Divine really represents an ongoing transformation, purification, and 0:16:29.500,0:16:30.250 awareness. 0:16:30.600,0:16:39.600 And awareness--one of the ways I explain this is when your arm or your leg goes numb, you 0:16:39.600,0:16:46.080 have a moment where you realize that the limb has gone numb and then you move it. And what 0:16:46.080,0:16:52.140 has happened is there's a bit of, a slight, pinch in the nerve or a decrease in blood to 0:16:52.140,0:16:59.490 the limb. And because of that, the nerves in the limb have gone numb. They don't have 0:16:59.490,0:17:04.950 enough oxygen and food to do their process. So they've gone numb. They have, in effect, 0:17:04.950,0:17:10.800 shut down. And then you make a slight movement and the blood comes rushing back and 0:17:10.800,0:17:16.710 the nerves wake up and you get pins and needles. And the pins and needles can feel 0:17:16.740,0:17:24.690 intense! It can almost make your eyes water! It feels so ferocious and terrible! And what 0:17:24.690,0:17:30.360 can you do? You can't stop it from enacting and you can't turn it off. So, we all kind of 0:17:30.360,0:17:37.560 breathe deeply and wait for just a few moments for that intense sensation to 0:17:37.560,0:17:46.770 subside. And then the arm or leg returns to normal. Imagine if you would--if when we made 0:17:46.770,0:17:52.950 that slight adjustment and those pins and needles started, we could shut it down again. 0:17:54.240,0:18:01.440 Imagine if we said, "That hurts. That's too intense! I can't bear that. I just can't 0:18:01.440,0:18:05.820 stand it! I'm going to turn it off... Ah, oh, that's much better!" 0:18:08.240,0:18:11.510 Your arm or leg would die. 0:18:13.130,0:18:19.700 The tissues, after being cut off for X amount of time, would die. And the limb would become 0:18:19.700,0:18:25.550 gangrenous. It would begin to rot. And eventually, if you didn't cut it off, or have 0:18:25.550,0:18:32.150 someone help you out, your whole organism would die because of this dead organ, this 0:18:32.150,0:18:39.290 dead limb. That would then poison your system. And yet, when we do that, on an 0:18:39.290,0:18:48.230 emotional level, we do not see the consequences. There ARE consequences. 0:18:51.060,0:18:56.070 One of the lectures that I'm going to teach later this year is Lecture 196, Commitment, 0:18:56.070,0:19:03.000 Cause and Effect. And one of the things that lecture talks about is that when you separate 0:19:03.030,0:19:09.150 cause and effect, when... when you have an effect that is so far away from the cause, 0:19:09.150,0:19:15.930 that you cannot see the connection between the two, you lose awareness of what's 0:19:15.930,0:19:23.550 happening. In effect, you can no longer do anything about it. Because you don't know why 0:19:23.580,0:19:32.130 something is happening. So emotionally, when you, for instance, feel lonely and afraid, 0:19:32.160,0:19:38.040 and you open your heart, you might have the feeling that is very, very similar to the 0:19:38.040,0:19:45.570 pins and needles in your arm. You may feel overwhelmed. You may feel the intensity of 0:19:45.570,0:19:51.450 your own loneliness. You may open your heart and find that your friends are delighted! And 0:19:51.450,0:19:56.430 they say things like, "where have you been?" "What have you been doing?" "We've called and 0:19:56.430,0:20:01.650 we've tried to contact you and for heaven's..." And... it's loving and wonderful 0:20:01.650,0:20:05.940 chatter! But sometimes it feels like a criticism. And we suddenly feel like we've 0:20:05.940,0:20:14.820 done something wrong. But the overwhelm of suddenly being open again to input from other 0:20:14.820,0:20:20.700 people and to our own feelings can feel so intense and so overwhelming that we, once 0:20:20.700,0:20:28.740 again, shut it down. Imagine if you would a cycle of this... where we keep shutting down 0:20:28.770,0:20:37.500 any level of intense feelings having to do with reenacting or resusitating friendships. 0:20:38.610,0:20:46.980 After a while, people wander away. After a while, people decide you don't want to be 0:20:46.980,0:20:54.780 friends. You show no interest. You never contact them. And so the stimulus goes away. 0:20:55.890,0:21:00.750 And then, of course, you can open up and you won't feel that kind of intensity from the 0:21:00.750,0:21:06.240 outside. And because there is no outside stimulus you may not notice your own 0:21:06.240,0:21:15.090 feelings. So you open up then and you say, "Ah, now I feel comfortable! Now, I feel that 0:21:15.090,0:21:20.700 I could open my heart." And yet you are opening your heart to a much more limited 0:21:20.700,0:21:29.010 experience. So, what I'm describing here is that just like the physical, we may have to 0:21:29.010,0:21:36.450 learn to tolerate. We may have to learn to bear with...grit our teeth and just get 0:21:36.450,0:21:42.480 through it...on intense emotional experiences, just like we let our arms and 0:21:42.480,0:21:49.500 our legs wake up. Because by turning away that intense experience, we do not 0:21:49.650,0:21:57.630 re-enliven. We do not re-engage. And we lose awareness of our feelings and of the 0:21:57.630,0:21:58.350 situation. 0:21:59.920,0:22:09.070 Now what I'm describing here is that "evil", in the Pathwork understanding, "evil" is a 0:22:09.070,0:22:17.080 separation where you have managed to cut off the interaction. And you may have been able 0:22:17.080,0:22:26.320 to cut off the feelings so that you are isolated and alone. There's a chilly, cold 0:22:26.350,0:22:33.610 quality to that, which has truth in it because evil tends to want things under 0:22:33.610,0:22:44.110 control and slow. And that's not real. So evil is creating an artificial environment 0:22:44.140,0:22:50.590 where it can control everything. And shut down outside input. And shut down any 0:22:50.650,0:22:55.510 internal feelings that want to come forward that it doesn't feel comfortable with. So it 0:22:55.510,0:23:04.450 is this quality of separation and falseness that the Pathwork concept of evil works with. 0:23:05.380,0:23:10.540 So you have the lower self, which is a creative center of trying to enact this. How 0:23:10.540,0:23:15.880 do I separate? How do I shut down these feelings? How do I avoid...? It's a very 0:23:15.880,0:23:22.240 creative and active center. But then you have the underlying principle of evil, which is "I 0:23:22.240,0:23:23.080 don't want to play." 0:23:24.910,0:23:29.050 "I don't want to love. I don't want to be with other people." 0:23:30.460,0:23:33.610 "I don't want to give up any control. I want it all for myself." 0:23:34.650,0:23:39.630 But the quality of evil is very cold and deliberate. And the lower self is more of 0:23:40.800,0:23:46.260 a...more of an alive, once again, creative center. So it's talking about the difference, 0:23:46.290,0:23:54.240 a bit of difference, between the lower self and evil. Then there's an element or a 0:23:54.450,0:24:00.510 section on the denial of the lower self. And these aren't necessarily logical. It's just a 0:24:00.510,0:24:06.930 flow of information. In the denial of the lower self, basically, what we say... when I 0:24:06.930,0:24:11.670 described evil and I said evil shuts off all the input so that it can be in the illusion 0:24:11.670,0:24:19.920 that that doesn't exist for matter. In the denial of the lower self and the refusal to 0:24:19.920,0:24:28.710 look at our negativity... in the refusal to see where we are stubborn... or resistant... 0:24:28.890,0:24:39.630 or selfish... That is a form of separation. So the denial of the lower self, the refusal 0:24:39.630,0:24:48.900 to see it, is a form of evil. Now, human beings deny a lot of things. One of the 0:24:48.900,0:24:56.430 things that Susan analogizes this to is the fear of death. So it's a great analogy. It's 0:24:56.430,0:25:02.250 a common analogy. That we may deny, for instance, that we have an illness. Because we 0:25:02.250,0:25:07.920 simply cannot face our own mortality. We... we don't want to believe that life is going 0:25:07.920,0:25:13.170 to be over very, very soon. We don't want to believe that we're going to have to undergo a 0:25:13.170,0:25:20.370 certain kind of experience. So, we simply say it's not there. Now, that doesn't change the 0:25:20.400,0:25:28.530 illness. And since life is mortal... since we're all terminally... we're all terminal 0:25:28.620,0:25:38.460 with life. It works the same way on a very, very long...long road. That's... my words are 0:25:38.460,0:25:39.630 not elegant this evening! 0:25:41.640,0:25:49.590 Denial of an illness is just a shorter, simpler version of the denial of our ultimate 0:25:49.590,0:25:56.010 death. It's easy to avoid death when you've got 90 years to work with. Because that's a 0:25:56.010,0:26:02.220 long time period! When that time period shortened and a doctor tells you you have 0:26:02.220,0:26:08.910 three months. Once again, it intensifies the whole experience. And because we really don't 0:26:08.910,0:26:13.530 wake up in the morning saying, "this is the first day of the rest of my life, and this is 0:26:13.530,0:26:18.060 one... I have just lost one day and I have one less day to live." 0:26:18.060,0:26:19.290 We don't live like that. 0:26:20.530,0:26:26.680 When we are told that we have a problem... illness that is going to terminate our life 0:26:26.710,0:26:33.880 early. It feels healthier, as if we would be healthier and happier, if we just say that 0:26:33.880,0:26:40.450 doesn't exist. And we just kept living our life the way it was going before that. Now it 0:26:40.450,0:26:45.940 doesn't change the illness. It just means that we don't deal with it. So while it may 0:26:45.940,0:26:51.010 be true, that you go along for a period of time, and you're, relatively speaking, happy. 0:26:51.010,0:26:56.320 Whereas if you face your disease, you might be miserable and upset. You also may not have 0:26:56.320,0:27:02.470 the opportunity to end your life the way you wish. In effect, it's like getting zapped one 0:27:02.470,0:27:07.960 day. You're going along and your life ends abruptly. If you know that your life is going 0:27:07.960,0:27:14.080 to end in a matter of months, you actually have a special opportunity to live those few 0:27:14.080,0:27:20.530 months in a very, very special and extra aware way. So, that you get as much life as 0:27:20.530,0:27:27.160 possible into those three months. So, what I'm... what I'm presenting here is that the 0:27:27.160,0:27:34.420 denial of the lower self is just like denying that we have an illness. It won't stop the 0:27:34.450,0:27:41.200 illness. It is possible that the illness could get worse or accelerate. It's not going 0:27:41.200,0:27:47.350 to necessarily just go away. Denying the lower self does not mean it goes away. It 0:27:47.350,0:27:54.850 doesn't heal. It doesn't transform. And because we're not aware of it we are losing 0:27:54.850,0:28:03.430 connection to cause and effect. So if deny our lower self, which is the cause of things, 0:28:03.670,0:28:09.760 and then, there's a... we act out negatively, but we have denied the cause, then we may not 0:28:09.760,0:28:16.420 know why we act out in a certain way. And because we don't understand why, we can't 0:28:16.420,0:28:22.450 track it back. And we cannot deal with it. So the denial of the lower self is equivalent to 0:28:22.450,0:28:29.890 the denial of death. It won't change anything. And it breaks the chain between 0:28:29.890,0:28:31.840 cause and effect. 0:28:34.720,0:28:41.920 Now, there are three particular aspects of the lower self, and they are set out in 0:28:42.370,0:28:53.710 Lecture 30, which is the... Pride, Self-Will, and Fear. And when you study the lectures, 0:28:53.710,0:28:59.650 it's a lot of material. It's a lot of words. So, we tend to try to comb through all this 0:28:59.650,0:29:03.490 stuff by making charts and graphs. And saying, "okay, what three points are we 0:29:03.490,0:29:08.980 talking about?" And making matrices, and tables, and charts. And the Guide talks a lot 0:29:08.980,0:29:15.010 in threes, which perhaps is a human thing. I don't know why three is so prevalent. So the 0:29:15.010,0:29:21.730 defenses of Pride, Self-Will and Fear are match up to the personality types of Reason, 0:29:21.730,0:29:24.040 Will, and Emotion, which is Lecture 43. 0:29:24.600,0:29:29.400 And the reason I'm mentioning so many lectures in this presentation, is this is a 0:29:29.400,0:29:35.580 synthesis of a lot of information. A way of, if you've read 10 different lectures, of 0:29:35.580,0:29:41.910 bringing all those lectures together and seeing things a bit differently based on all 0:29:41.910,0:29:49.170 the concepts, rather than looking at one single concept at a time. That's why I 0:29:49.170,0:29:53.700 thought I would change the way I was doing things and work with this kind of synthesis. 0:29:54.420,0:29:59.460 Partly to liven it up... and partly because we have been talking about these individual 0:29:59.460,0:30:07.440 lectures, and I'm trying to bring them into a larger context. So the personality defenses 0:30:08.010,0:30:15.450 of pride, self-will and fear are the lower self aspects of our personality types. 0:30:17.010,0:30:23.340 And pride? Why is pride a defense? Because pride is how we say, "I don't have to look at 0:30:23.340,0:30:31.440 that. It is beneath me to think that I would do such a thing. I am better than that." 0:30:33.570,0:30:41.670 Pride says I am better than others. So I should not have to do the kind of work other 0:30:41.670,0:30:47.160 people do. I'll take care of it by myself. I shouldn't have to go to classes. I shouldn't 0:30:47.160,0:30:54.030 have to take personal sessions. I shouldn't have to look at myself. And especially, if we 0:30:54.030,0:31:01.440 have a superficiality to our life that is basically in good shape. There's... it's a 0:31:01.440,0:31:07.050 justification. We must be doing something right. Because you see... we have a good 0:31:07.050,0:31:10.920 job... and we have finances... and we have friends... and we have relationship. What's 0:31:10.920,0:31:17.970 there to look at? That may have truth in it. But what I'm talking about is when we say 0:31:17.970,0:31:26.730 that out of pride, out of a sense of superiority, meant specifically to prevent 0:31:26.820,0:31:37.140 self-analysis, to stop examination. Rather than, consciously and intelligently say, "I 0:31:37.140,0:31:40.770 don't think I need to worry about that particular aspect, at this particular time." 0:31:41.340,0:31:47.040 That might be self-analysis. But, pride simply takes a huge brush and says, "I'm 0:31:47.040,0:31:54.450 better than that. I shouldn't have to do that. I don't have that problem"... which is 0:31:54.450,0:31:59.430 different from coming to that conclusion after self-examination. 0:32:01.220,0:32:10.010 So, the quote from Lecture 30 is "that he who feels the humiliation of another person, less 0:32:10.010,0:32:18.530 than his own has too much pride." Let me repeat that. "He who feels the humiliation of 0:32:18.530,0:32:27.980 another person, less than his own, still has too much pride." That is the kind of pride 0:32:28.010,0:32:35.570 I'm talking about. In real empathy when you see someone humiliated or shamed, your heart 0:32:35.570,0:32:41.300 might go out to them. And you might find that there's places in you that understand how 0:32:41.300,0:32:46.880 that feels. And you would empathize with that other human being needing or having to feel 0:32:46.880,0:32:54.860 those feelings. But when you see someone's humiliation and you DO NOT access those 0:32:54.860,0:32:58.700 feelings in you that's due to pride. 0:32:59.920,0:33:04.600 We don't want to feel those feelings. We want to pretend that we're not the kind of person 0:33:04.600,0:33:12.520 that has been humiliated or needs to be humiliated. And this is where pride is what 0:33:12.520,0:33:15.370 makes us laugh and point at other people. 0:33:15.700,0:33:19.990 "Look at him! Oh, isn't he stupid?!? Isn't he funny?!?" 0:33:20.770,0:33:28.810 Who would say that? If they could remember in their own heart what it feels like to 0:33:29.260,0:33:30.190 humiliated. 0:33:33.120,0:33:38.580 So this is what the Guide means. Basically, what he's saying is that, what you need to 0:33:38.610,0:33:44.520 feel is the other person's pain, humiliation, whatever it is, as much as you would feel 0:33:44.520,0:33:51.510 your own. That is when your heart is open. And to not feel that is an indication of 0:33:51.510,0:33:52.140 pride. 0:33:54.570,0:34:02.700 So the antidotes to pride are honest self-confrontation and humble self-acceptance 0:34:04.530,0:34:13.320 out of which real self-esteem comes. So like every other element, pride in and of itself, 0:34:13.350,0:34:19.110 is not a bad thing. It just is. You can have pride about an appropriate event or an 0:34:19.110,0:34:27.930 appropriate action. But when pride is intended to separate you or prevent you from 0:34:27.930,0:34:34.800 feeling feelings that you find uncomfortable, that's when pride has become a defense. 0:34:37.540,0:34:45.310 So with pride, self-will and fear the next one is self-will. And self-will... self-will 0:34:45.340,0:34:47.260 is not free will. 0:34:48.310,0:34:58.300 Free will is the ability to choose. When we are in self-will, we actually lose the 0:34:58.300,0:35:07.000 ability to choose. Because self-will has already taken a side. Self-will has decided 0:35:07.330,0:35:16.390 what's good for me is what I'm going to... put energy into, vote for, be with, fight 0:35:16.390,0:35:25.120 for, say, or do. So self-will, has already chosen me over you. 0:35:27.130,0:35:35.410 So self-will is a defense that says, "I want everything my way then I won't be upset. Then 0:35:35.410,0:35:41.440 I won't have feelings of fear. I won't... I won't hate you if I have everything I need." 0:35:42.250,0:35:48.190 Well, having everything you need or not having everything you need, shouldn't 0:35:48.190,0:35:51.820 necessarily result in hatred of another. 0:35:53.040,0:35:59.310 So having everything you need is a defense against feeling the possibility that you may 0:35:59.310,0:36:07.140 have hatred regardless. So to prevent your feeling of hatred you accumulate things 0:36:07.140,0:36:13.860 around you so that you feel comfortable and happy. And then you feel like you don't feel 0:36:13.920,0:36:21.630 hatred. But the reality is the hatred is still there. It is simply not activated. And 0:36:21.630,0:36:29.220 this is an example of how we've denied the lower self by simply doing whatever it takes 0:36:29.280,0:36:36.270 so that it's not disturbed or activated. That's not transforming the thing. That is, 0:36:36.300,0:36:43.020 in effect, pacifying. One of the phrases I use is "feeding the lions." So, if you have a 0:36:43.020,0:36:48.930 lion who's hungry and your solution is to feed the lion, that's fine as long as you've 0:36:48.930,0:36:56.490 got a basket of steaks. But the day is going to come when you run out of food to feed the 0:36:56.490,0:37:02.520 lion. And so, if you have not dealt with the possibility that the lion could be hungry and 0:37:02.520,0:37:07.440 there's nothing left but YOU to eat... the chances are that, at that point, you will 0:37:07.440,0:37:15.180 have no other option but to be eaten by the lion. There's a place where you may want to 0:37:15.180,0:37:20.970 feed the lion for a while... while you figure out other options. You find a cage... you 0:37:20.970,0:37:24.210 find a lion-tamer... you do whatever it is you have to do. 0:37:26.970,0:37:32.790 But to feed the lion without having an alternative plan, without thinking things 0:37:32.820,0:37:37.290 through, without considering what happens when you run out of steaks. That's what 0:37:37.290,0:37:45.780 happens when you pacify and do not activate the lower self without actually dealing with 0:37:45.780,0:37:52.560 it. One day, you're not going to be able to have everything you need... to have all the 0:37:52.560,0:37:57.930 control you think you have to do. And in that moment, you will become activated and your 0:37:57.930,0:38:06.630 lower self will erupt without necessarily having any opportunity on your part. For you 0:38:06.630,0:38:10.230 haven't planned for this, you haven't made any arrangements, and you haven't started the 0:38:10.230,0:38:15.480 work of self-analysis. So when lower self erupts and reaches out and roars like a lion, 0:38:16.170,0:38:24.060 it could act out negatively. And you may be very, very surprised by the feelings that may 0:38:24.060,0:38:28.830 come out of you. Because you haven't really addressed them. You're not aware of them. And 0:38:28.830,0:38:29.640 you haven't dealt with them. 0:38:30.300,0:38:38.790 So back to self-will... so self-will says, "I want what I want, when I want it." And 0:38:38.790,0:38:48.540 self-will occurs when free will is used in the surface, in the service of the little 0:38:48.540,0:38:48.990 ego. 0:38:50.290,0:38:55.660 So, in other words, when I use my free will only in service of me as an individual, 0:38:57.160,0:38:59.740 that's a very small version of me. 0:39:01.100,0:39:07.820 What all spiritual paths teach is that there is a greater need, a greater us, a greater 0:39:07.820,0:39:15.890 you. And that enlightenment... part of enlightenment is about seeing the other 0:39:15.890,0:39:22.700 person's needs. And realizing that sometimes we need to give way on our needs to meet 0:39:22.730,0:39:29.060 their needs because they are us. And in that larger sphere (and I've spoken to the three 0:39:29.120,0:39:36.980 spheres of consciousness before) in that larger sphere of us, when you have what you 0:39:36.980,0:39:46.580 need, I do have more happiness. And the planet has more happiness. But when I only 0:39:46.580,0:39:52.850 take care of me, the chances are that I may be neglecting you, or overlooking you, or 0:39:52.850,0:39:56.270 somebody's going to get neglected or overlooked because I'm certainly not looking 0:39:56.870,0:40:04.250 after them. And so when I only take care of me and then someone is left out and they 0:40:04.250,0:40:12.320 become activated and they act out negatively. Then, to some degree, I bear some 0:40:12.320,0:40:19.970 responsibility for that. I created a situation where someone was ignored. I 0:40:20.120,0:40:25.640 ignored them. Now, I'm not talking about a situation where you have no authority or no 0:40:25.640,0:40:33.710 power, and you can't help what's going on in the world. I'm talking about an attitude of 0:40:33.740,0:40:41.750 seeing the needs of others. And considering that perhaps your needs need to be adjusted, 0:40:42.740,0:40:51.500 so that all of us can have a bit more joy, a bit more happiness. To some extent.. there's 0:40:51.500,0:40:55.520 a lot of noise... if somebody could hit *6 and silence thier phone, please. 0:40:56.350,0:41:04.240 To some extent, that's what taxation is about. In almost any government, taxation 0:41:04.270,0:41:10.300 takes a little bit from everyone and puts it in a pool and tries to make sure that the 0:41:10.300,0:41:17.140 community's needs are met. And sometimes that means that an individual gets some help. And 0:41:17.140,0:41:21.880 sometimes it just means that the community is taken care of in ways that an individual 0:41:21.880,0:41:27.010 might not notice if they were only looking after themselves and their family. So in a 0:41:27.010,0:41:32.050 community, there are needs that are very subtle and get forgotten. But by pooling 0:41:32.050,0:41:38.170 resources and having somebody in charge of taking care of the greater need, we are all 0:41:38.290,0:41:50.530 better off. So I'm describing where self-will is... selfish. Where it is... it hasn't got 0:41:50.530,0:41:57.550 any foresight. It doesn't plan, it doesn't see ahead, it doesn't look at the other. And, 0:41:57.550,0:42:03.610 therefore, to some degree, it is actually acting against its own interests by being 0:42:03.610,0:42:12.910 selfish. So this is a defense. And it is designed to give me everything I want when I 0:42:12.910,0:42:19.900 want it, without any regard at all for you and your needs or a lesser regard for you and 0:42:19.900,0:42:28.990 your needs. And in that way, I defend against my feelings of not having enough. And I also 0:42:29.110,0:42:36.070 deactivate or keep unactivated my lower self, which might be angry and grab something from 0:42:36.070,0:42:41.170 you. Now, I haven't healed that. I haven't addressed it. But it's not active because 0:42:41.170,0:42:46.540 I've been somewhat selfish and taking care of myself first. That's when we speak of it as 0:42:46.540,0:42:47.350 defense. 0:42:49.940,0:42:58.880 The last defense is actually underneath the other two. And the last defense is fear. And 0:42:58.970,0:43:07.580 fear is what says there might not be enough. Fear says if we feel those feelings of 0:43:07.610,0:43:14.990 empathy with the person being humiliated, we will feel destroyed and we will feel feelings 0:43:14.990,0:43:22.280 that we can't handle. And so let's not do that. There is a fear of experiencing 0:43:22.280,0:43:29.600 feelings that drive us to numb ourselves and block off those feelings. Rather than being 0:43:29.600,0:43:34.970 unwilling to feel them. Just go ahead and feel them and see how it goes. And finding 0:43:34.970,0:43:40.940 out that it will not destroy you. It may make you uncomfortable. And it may bring up some 0:43:40.940,0:43:46.340 things that you want to look at. But it will not kill you to experience something. 0:43:48.370,0:43:55.630 Now, that's where fear... I like using biology with concepts because it helps ground 0:43:55.630,0:44:01.720 me. It helps me feel that I understand that concept when it's concrete and it talks about 0:44:01.720,0:44:07.840 something specific. So in the lecture on the defense, which is 101, the Guide talks about 0:44:08.740,0:44:15.850 defense being a result of an overuse of adrenaline because we have mistakenly 0:44:15.850,0:44:23.080 presumed that our lives are in danger. Now on a physical level, when our lives are in 0:44:23.080,0:44:28.210 danger, the adrenaline pumps into our bloodstream and heightens our senses. And it 0:44:28.210,0:44:33.400 gives us extra energy and allows us to do amazing things because our lives are at stake 0:44:33.400,0:44:41.620 and we must do something about it. But humans aren't simply their biology. Human beings 0:44:41.890,0:44:49.600 also use the biology of their being as a construct in their mind. And so, a human 0:44:49.600,0:44:59.260 being will say, "my social life is in danger, if I misbehave." 0:45:00.790,0:45:08.320 And your mind will translate that into life or death. Your mind will translate a bit of 0:45:08.320,0:45:17.800 humiliation into the threat of annihilation on a social level. And so what happens is we 0:45:17.800,0:45:27.760 take the biology of our being, we translate it into the mental aspect of our being. And 0:45:27.760,0:45:29.440 we invent stuff. 0:45:30.950,0:45:39.590 So, at that, point fear is ungrounded. Fear isn't rooted in death or life. It's not 0:45:39.590,0:45:46.520 rooted in starvation versus survival. It becomes more and more subtle. And the 0:45:46.520,0:45:54.260 definition of dying versus living turns into making a faux pas at the dinner table instead 0:45:54.260,0:45:55.670 of falling over a cliff. 0:45:57.040,0:46:02.800 So our reaction to making a small social error becomes gigantic. We're actually using 0:46:02.800,0:46:07.510 our biology and we will pump adrenaline through us. We will imagine that we are in 0:46:07.540,0:46:17.320 absolute danger... making some small social mistake. And we will pump up our body and 0:46:17.320,0:46:22.510 become more active and become more aware. And our... the adrenaline will course through us. 0:46:22.510,0:46:27.430 We'll actually get a little bit nervous and shaky. This is because our mind is generating 0:46:27.460,0:46:39.220 life or death scenarios over concepts. So that's why fear becomes a defense instead of 0:46:39.340,0:46:48.130 a life-affirming tool. So where fear might save the animal from being eaten... what it 0:46:48.130,0:46:58.000 does for us, as human beings, is we imagine a fear and we do whatever it takes to make the 0:46:58.000,0:47:06.700 fear go away. The problem is the fear may not be real. So in service of the lower self, the 0:47:06.700,0:47:10.900 fear would say--I don't want to feel those feelings. I don't want to feel uncomfortable. 0:47:11.140,0:47:13.840 It makes me nervous. It makes me upset. Shut that down! 0:47:14.860,0:47:21.040 And it can treat that situation as if it's a lion or a tiger. So that it says--get away, 0:47:21.070,0:47:28.840 go away. Shut the door. Quit the job. Cut off the relationship. Don't go outside, stay 0:47:28.840,0:47:38.320 inside. Don't expose yourself, stay hidden. Don't give to the other. Because then you 0:47:38.320,0:47:44.620 might feel these feelings of being bereft, of not having. And you might act out negatively 0:47:44.680,0:47:51.310 and that would get you disliked. So don't give. Hold on to things. Then these feelings 0:47:51.310,0:47:52.300 will not be activated. 0:47:53.800,0:47:59.980 But what is speaking there is fear. It's a special kind of fear because it's not 0:47:59.980,0:48:07.720 grounded in reality. We have control of it in our minds. And we allow it free reign to tell 0:48:07.720,0:48:10.690 us whatever we want to hear. 0:48:11.560,0:48:16.180 So I'm going to go back to what I said in the beginning and that is the only thing that you 0:48:16.180,0:48:24.400 have total and complete control of is your attitude. In this example of fear, if you 0:48:24.400,0:48:29.200 decide that you will simply not be afraid of losing your job... 0:48:29.930,0:48:34.760 I've been in that situation a couple of times where I have felt that I didn't really want 0:48:34.760,0:48:40.190 the job in the first place. And sometimes I have felt that way because they can't afford 0:48:40.190,0:48:46.280 to fire me so I can do almost anything I want. And I'm so crucial and they have 0:48:46.280,0:48:50.480 nothing to replace me with so they're going to let me. I'd have no fear of getting fired. 0:48:51.320,0:48:56.180 On the other hand, if I was going to get fired in other situations, I didn't care. 0:48:56.930,0:49:04.970 Either way, I can use this lack of fear about losing a job to either slack off and do what 0:49:04.970,0:49:14.330 I please or move through projects that might ordinarily wind up in discussion and 0:49:14.330,0:49:21.020 committees and management decisions. And but if I have the courage to say, "no, this is 0:49:21.020,0:49:26.510 the right thing to do and I'm going to push it through. I'm going to do it." Then that 0:49:26.540,0:49:32.360 ability to move with courage can actually come from the fact that I have decided I am 0:49:32.360,0:49:40.310 not afraid. And the decision not to be afraid, is an individual judgment. When I 0:49:40.310,0:49:47.450 decide I can be fired, when I decide I can lose my job, or lose my home, or walk away 0:49:47.450,0:49:53.930 from a relationship, I have decided that I will not be annihilated by that. And the fact 0:49:54.110,0:49:59.450 that I'm broke, the fact that I don't have money, the fact that I would be lonely, the 0:49:59.450,0:50:05.930 fact I would have to make other major changes in my life... It's a choice on my part 0:50:06.170,0:50:09.440 whether I decide to be afraid of that or not. 0:50:12.830,0:50:22.790 So, what I'm building here is that fear is actually a choice. Unless you have a very 0:50:22.790,0:50:30.830 simplistic, fundamental situation facing you, to be afraid of something is a choice. And 0:50:30.830,0:50:40.160 because it is a choice, we do misuse it. And we decide to be afraid of change. We decide 0:50:40.160,0:50:47.600 to be afraid of awareness. We decide to be afraid of growth and transformation. 0:50:49.400,0:50:57.560 And we allow fear to flood us. And then we justify what we do based on "but, I'm afraid" 0:50:58.640,0:51:01.310 without realizing that we have chosen. 0:51:01.510,0:51:10.300 And what I've gone through in the first half are the sub-points in that chapter, starting 0:51:10.300,0:51:15.640 with facing the lower self, and what that means from a spiritual perspective. What is 0:51:15.640,0:51:23.380 the lower self? What is evil? The denial of the lower self. And I've just completed a 0:51:23.380,0:51:31.030 description of three aspects of the lower self in terms of defending against life. And 0:51:31.030,0:51:38.620 those primary defenses are pride, self-will and fear, which are outlined in Pathwork 0:51:38.620,0:51:39.640 Guide Lecture 30. 0:51:42.330,0:51:51.390 So the next point is, what the lower self is not. And that's important. Because it's easy 0:51:51.390,0:51:59.430 to think that every negative experience is an experience of the lower self. But that's... 0:51:59.430,0:52:07.710 that's not what the lower self is. So focusing on one emotion: anger. Anger, in 0:52:07.710,0:52:13.440 general, is not a fun emotion to have. Not that we can't occasionally enjoy blowing out 0:52:13.440,0:52:19.650 a little bit of anger. But, in general, anger is anger because we are unhappy. It is a 0:52:19.650,0:52:29.550 visceral... it's almost a defensive emotion. And it designed, designed to stop something 0:52:29.550,0:52:36.990 from happening. To bark-- it is the human equivalent of barking. To stop someone from 0:52:36.990,0:52:44.670 doing something, to draw attention to, to stop the energy in a room so that when we 0:52:44.670,0:52:51.090 speak up in anger, people naturally turn around, stop talking and wonder what's going 0:52:51.090,0:52:56.190 on. Unless of course, there is so much anger in the room that our voice is not the only 0:52:56.190,0:52:56.490 one. 0:52:58.040,0:53:06.530 Anger is not inherently an act of the lower self. Anger is not related to evil. Anger 0:53:06.530,0:53:16.670 simply is. But anger is also not inherently righteous. You can be angry for no good 0:53:16.670,0:53:24.440 reason. You can be angry because your toy got taken away. You can be angry because you 0:53:24.440,0:53:29.150 weren't prepared to share and now you're worried and your worry has... has made you 0:53:29.150,0:53:35.210 feel threatened. So you bark back in distress. So anger just is. It's an 0:53:35.240,0:53:42.320 indication that something is wrong. That something needs to change. That movement 0:53:42.320,0:53:50.540 needs to happen or action needs to happen. That's all it is. It's a signal. Now when 0:53:50.600,0:53:58.010 anger is repressed and we're not allowed to express it, that's when we get in trouble. 0:53:58.760,0:54:05.870 Because the repressed anger doesn't go away. And what it does... if you can think of it 0:54:05.870,0:54:12.470 like an emotion being like a small animal. And if it's allowed to just be who it is and 0:54:12.470,0:54:17.120 do what it needs to do, it's done. And then it comes back and sits down and waits for 0:54:17.120,0:54:22.910 another opportunity or another situation to express what it needs to express. So I'm 0:54:22.910,0:54:26.960 imagining a whole bunch of white mice in front of me and each like a bunch of little 0:54:26.960,0:54:35.990 bells. And each white mice--each white mouse contains a different emotion. And when it's 0:54:35.990,0:54:41.750 time for anger to express itself, the anger mouse expresses anger. And when that's done, 0:54:41.780,0:54:46.910 and the action generates the action that it needs to generate-- it stops something, it 0:54:46.910,0:54:50.960 moves, something that addresses something, then the little mouse comes back and he just 0:54:50.960,0:54:58.250 sits down and waits until the next time anger is appropriate. But if you, in effect, 0:54:58.850,0:55:05.660 repress that anger, emotions don't go away just because you don't express them. 0:55:07.040,0:55:12.290 In fact, what happens it's as if that, that-- little animal--that little piece of anger 0:55:13.310,0:55:18.530 gets even angrier. Because now it has the original event but it also has not being able 0:55:18.530,0:55:25.700 to express itself. And it goes underground. It holds the energy in and the energy gets 0:55:25.730,0:55:30.650 more dense. And to some extent more powerful because it's condensed. You've got a little 0:55:30.650,0:55:38.480 mushroom cloud that's being held in. And the next opportunity it has to express anger, it 0:55:38.480,0:55:45.860 may express a larger amount of anger because it's doing a two for one job. It's expressing 0:55:45.860,0:55:53.510 anger over two situations, but it only has one event to express it out. Imagine that 0:55:53.510,0:56:00.770 happening 50, 100, 1000 times. We're not computers. We don't keep track of all this 0:56:00.770,0:56:08.510 stuff. We lose count of the number of times where we felt angry or upset and did not 0:56:08.510,0:56:15.770 express it. And swallowed it and tried to pack it away someplace. So humans are usually 0:56:15.770,0:56:24.620 not very conscious of the extent of their repressed emotions. And therefore, when an 0:56:24.620,0:56:28.700 opportunity comes and those emotions are allowed to come out. They whoosh out! They 0:56:28.700,0:56:34.610 come out in droves! And we say, "I wonder why I'm so upset. Why am I crying so hard? Why am 0:56:34.610,0:56:40.310 I so angry? Why am I giddy with happiness when it was only a joke?" Well, part of that 0:56:40.430,0:56:49.490 is because we had other moments of anger, or sadness, or joy that had to be held back. And 0:56:49.490,0:56:53.780 they're like little kids-- "let's go out and play." And they jump out and they put more 0:56:53.780,0:56:58.940 energy into the event where they're allowed to express themselves than the situation 0:56:58.940,0:57:06.620 actually calls for. That's one of the ways we distinguish between a "feeling" and an 0:57:06.680,0:57:09.590 "emotion" or emotional reaction. 0:57:11.180,0:57:17.960 So an example of that is-- if I'm angry, if somebody steps on my foot, and I feel pain. 0:57:17.960,0:57:25.610 And I say, "get off my foot!" And they get off my foot, I'm done. Imagine if I was under 0:57:25.610,0:57:34.130 a social situation where I could not express my irritation or fear of physical harm 0:57:34.760,0:57:40.220 because I was subordinate to the people in the room. And they jostled me, and stepped on 0:57:40.220,0:57:47.900 my feet, and nudged. And I felt twinges of pain, or threats of pain, or discomfort all 0:57:47.900,0:57:56.270 day long. And I wasn't allowed to express it. The phrase I used to describe what happens 0:57:56.270,0:58:04.220 then is in another situation--I do the equivalent of "kick the dog." I try to find a 0:58:04.220,0:58:10.340 situation where I can express that pent up frustration and anger. And when I get that 0:58:10.340,0:58:17.240 opportunity... all that frustration and all that anger goes pouring out in that 0:58:17.240,0:58:17.930 opportunity! 0:58:19.870,0:58:22.150 What does this have to do with the lower self? 0:58:25.930,0:58:35.860 When we do that, we are in effect, acting out some negativity. It's not just a matter of a 0:58:35.860,0:58:43.480 pent up set of emotions. We have feelings about not being able to express ourselves in 0:58:43.480,0:58:48.700 the appropriate circumstance. So besides the fact that I was jostled in a crowd, where I'm 0:58:48.700,0:58:54.610 a subordinate and I'm not allowed to express my feelings. Added to the anger and distress 0:58:55.270,0:59:04.030 is resentment. And added to that can be a dozen other feelings. I can be angry that I 0:59:04.030,0:59:08.740 took the job in the first place. I can be angry that the people I'm associating with 0:59:08.800,0:59:15.640 are that inconsiderate. I can be angry that other people aren't looking out after me. And 0:59:15.640,0:59:19.450 that I'm on my own and I can't handle the situation so I keep having to swallow the 0:59:19.450,0:59:26.110 anger and distress. All those... you can feel it, is all going into me. It's being added to 0:59:26.110,0:59:30.520 by a ton of other frustrations and negative feelings that were in there in the first 0:59:30.520,0:59:37.630 place. It's making quite a soup. And then when I have an opportunity to release these 0:59:37.630,0:59:43.540 feelings, I don't necessarily know why I'm so upset and angry. And what the lower, where 0:59:43.540,0:59:51.850 the lower self comes into this is when I am furiously angry at the dog, or the child, or 0:59:51.850,1:00:03.820 the spouse, or the news... my lower self will egg me on. My lower self will justify my 1:00:03.820,1:00:12.790 behavior. It will tell me you ought to be angry at that politician or that murderer. 1:00:13.510,1:00:19.180 The dog wasn't supposed to do that. You've told the dog 1000 times. Children should not 1:00:19.180,1:00:25.210 be undisciplined... you needed to be angry at that child. And your spouse never listens. 1:00:25.210,1:00:29.950 And it gives you a whole list of the times they didn't listen. So he deserved your 1:00:29.950,1:00:34.150 anger. It may have been a bit too much, but that's okay. It was still well deserved. 1:00:35.050,1:00:41.950 That's where the lower self, the negativity, mixes into the natural and rightful not 1:00:41.950,1:00:52.780 righteous, but rightful anger. And it allows you to act out negatively and act out with 1:00:52.780,1:01:01.180 negativity and tells you not to feel bad about it. Now if you can imagine that 1:01:01.180,1:01:08.320 happening day after day, month after month, year after year, where you suppress emotions 1:01:08.320,1:01:15.160 from one situation and let them pour out inappropriately in other situations as a 1:01:15.160,1:01:22.120 solution. And your lower self is encouraging you and saying you're justified. All you have 1:01:22.120,1:01:28.330 to do is find any justification. And it's okay to let all these feelings out, even 1:01:28.330,1:01:38.230 though they belong someplace else. This is how good people, caring, decent people wind 1:01:38.230,1:01:45.790 up creating negative bad habits where they act out inappropriately. And they actually 1:01:45.790,1:01:51.310 don't see it that way. Because, number one, they feel justified, they built up the 1:01:51.310,1:01:56.500 justification in their own mind. And secondly, they're not completely aware of 1:01:56.500,1:02:03.490 where all these feelings have come from. So when the cause, the thing strikes a match or 1:02:03.490,1:02:11.080 lights the tinder that seems appropriate, it seems like that was the situation that 1:02:11.080,1:02:17.830 generated those feelings. But it only generated a few feelings. And it caught the 1:02:17.830,1:02:22.990 rest of the feelings that you were repressing. So what I'm speaking of now is 1:02:22.990,1:02:30.700 that the lower self is not anger. It is not a negative feeling. It is not grief. It is not 1:02:30.700,1:02:38.470 sadness. It is nothing in particular. That is not lower self. What lower self is, is the 1:02:38.470,1:02:51.040 desire to justify, hurt and punish. In part because we have shifted from the original 1:02:51.040,1:02:54.520 situation, to a substitute situation. 1:02:55.200,1:03:01.020 And we want to resolve one set of feelings in a different arena where they really don't 1:03:01.020,1:03:07.950 belong. And when we're angry, and we don't really know why we're angry and we're looking 1:03:07.950,1:03:13.950 for justifications. That's when it becomes blame. That's when it's your fault that I'm 1:03:13.950,1:03:21.210 angry. I wouldn't be angry if you hadn't done this. And the question to ask is, "why does 1:03:21.210,1:03:29.130 that situation make you so angry?" What is going on, circling around to self-analysis 1:03:29.670,1:03:36.300 and being willing to look at our lower self and our negative acting out. So what I was 1:03:36.300,1:03:42.480 just expressing here is that lower self is not basic emotions. Lower self is channeling 1:03:42.480,1:03:49.800 those negative emotions into actions that we claim are justified, where we are trying to 1:03:49.800,1:03:54.810 hurt or punish someone rather than resolve a situation. 1:03:54.000,1:04:00.150 So the next topic is uncovering the lower self. And again, I think her words are 1:04:00.150,1:04:04.380 delicious. Susan Thesanga's words are delicious and juicy. She says, "the lower 1:04:04.380,1:04:11.340 self is a dangerous, exciting, and scary terrain for most of us. It is both repellent 1:04:11.370,1:04:19.020 and attractive. While we find violence repugnant, it nonetheless, fascinates us." 1:04:20.880,1:04:30.780 Lower self energies give us a kind of permission to go places that we know we 1:04:30.780,1:04:39.870 shouldn't go to. And it gives us justifications and excuses to explore 1:04:39.870,1:04:49.380 territories that fascinate us, that hold danger, that hold negativity that perhaps we 1:04:49.380,1:04:57.840 shouldn't be in. So there's a collusion here in us between the energy of the lower self 1:04:58.470,1:05:07.290 and our natural, healthy curiosity. And our fascination with aspects of life that we 1:05:07.290,1:05:14.640 don't fully understand. But if you follow that fascination, and you follow that 1:05:14.640,1:05:21.180 interest in curiosity, from a positive perspective, that would create one result. 1:05:22.110,1:05:28.740 But when you allow the lower self to tell you, "it's okay to shout in this 1:05:28.740,1:05:38.280 circumstance. That person's guilty! So, yo can enjoy the sense of being righteous." G 1:05:38.280,1:05:43.140 ahead and inhabit that because you hav justification." The person did the crime o 1:05:43.140,1:05:51.360 lied or whatever the person did. So i uncovering the lower self what we need to se 1:05:52.140,1:05:57.780 is how we have distorted reality an justified our negativity 1:06:06.340,1:06:12.790 And one of the previous teleconferences focused on the observer self, also covered in 1:06:12.790,1:06:21.130 this book. And in that process of developing the observer self, we develop a part of us 1:06:21.790,1:06:29.500 that can notice. And one of the things that we notice is... "geez, that's a lot of energy 1:06:29.500,1:06:35.230 going over there. That's a lot of anger going to the television screen, or to the referee 1:06:35.230,1:06:41.440 in the sports game." Is, is that... is that... are we bleeding off from another 1:06:41.440,1:06:47.530 situation into there? What are we doing? The observer self is what holds, once again a 1:06:47.530,1:06:53.380 referee position and says, "what's going on here? Where does the anger come from?" And 1:06:53.380,1:06:57.490 begins to notice... oh, you know, the other day when you got yelled at in front of the 1:06:57.490,1:07:02.230 other people and you were angry. And you were you were so upset that you weren't able to 1:07:02.230,1:07:06.310 verbalize your feelings. And then two days later, you're shouting at the television 1:07:06.310,1:07:11.800 screen or you're upset about something that should only make you annoyed. There's a cause 1:07:11.800,1:07:16.270 and effect there. There's a connection between those two events. That's the position 1:07:16.270,1:07:22.240 that the observer self can take. So in uncovering our lower self we need to start 1:07:22.240,1:07:32.440 seeing beyond our immediate feelings, our immediate situation, and we need to bring in 1:07:32.440,1:07:38.500 the equivalent of the larger part of us that holds other values... values of tolerance, 1:07:38.530,1:07:44.500 values a patience, values of love, values of wanting to see both sides of a situation. 1:07:47.090,1:07:53.420 The defenses of pride... what Susan says is, "the defenses of pride, self-will, and fear 1:07:53.780,1:08:03.920 keep us trapped within a narrowly egotistic self-definition that further rationalizes our 1:08:03.920,1:08:12.770 disconnection from others." And again, it is in the disconnection from others, that we, in 1:08:12.770,1:08:15.740 effect, become evil. 1:08:17.160,1:08:27.210 When we don't care that we're wrong. When we don't bother to look because we do not wish 1:08:27.210,1:08:37.230 to change our attitudes. That's where evil enters into the life of a good person. So if 1:08:37.230,1:08:42.450 we're not aware of how the lower self enters into our lives, and how it activates us how 1:08:42.450,1:08:47.580 it gives us these justifications, then it is in effect allowed to roam free and do 1:08:47.580,1:08:54.120 whatever it pleases. As long as it allows us to feel good about who we are and what we're 1:08:54.120,1:09:01.590 doing. But in the feeling good about, there's this voice that says, "it's okay to be angry. 1:09:01.890,1:09:08.310 It's okay to be extra angry." There's this voice of justification that is encouraging us 1:09:08.460,1:09:14.070 to go in a certain direction of negative acting out. And that voice is usually quite 1:09:14.070,1:09:19.110 different from the voice says, "wait a minute, what's going on? What's happening 1:09:19.110,1:09:24.210 here? That's a lot of emotion for a simple event." There's a difference in those two 1:09:24.210,1:09:24.900 voices. 1:09:25.440,1:09:32.280 So I'm laughing because I also did the teleconference on meditation for three 1:09:32.280,1:09:37.380 voices, where you kind of sit down and have a discussion with the different voices in you. 1:09:38.010,1:09:45.120 This is what it sounds like. You have to hear the voices or you have to create a situation 1:09:45.120,1:09:51.540 where you can observe those voices. And notice, this is the work of self-examination. 1:09:56.250,1:10:01.500 Again, she starts to mention the creative power of the lower self... the yin, yang, The 1:10:01.500,1:10:07.440 fact that all energy just is energy. And you can use the energy for negative purposes and 1:10:07.440,1:10:14.040 you can use the energy for positive purposes. And it can feel good to exercise energy! It 1:10:14.040,1:10:21.540 can feel good to run. The question is: are you running to help someone or you're running 1:10:21.540,1:10:29.100 to catch someone and punish them? Because then you feel exhilarated and righteous. The 1:10:29.100,1:10:32.790 energy can be very hard to tell... It can be very hard to tell the difference between 1:10:32.790,1:10:40.020 those two energies in situations. But that's our job as a spiritual being. If we do not 1:10:40.020,1:10:46.110 bother to tell the difference then we, in effect, stay children. We stay undeveloped 1:10:46.110,1:10:52.350 beings for the rest of our life. And as undeveloped beings, we will live a life that 1:10:52.350,1:10:59.730 is unenlightened. And an unenlightened life which is not examined may not be what we want 1:10:59.730,1:11:07.770 to lives to be. So this is perhaps one of the genesis of the phrase "we create our own 1:11:07.770,1:11:08.460 reality." 1:11:10.070,1:11:17.330 Again, if you understand that your attitude is the one thing that you can control that no 1:11:17.330,1:11:27.020 one else can take from you. No one else can make you unhappy... unless you agree that 1:11:27.020,1:11:27.830 you're unhappy. 1:11:29.670,1:11:36.420 So they can do anything they want to you. But if you simply decide, I'm okay, I'm happy. If 1:11:36.420,1:11:42.930 not happy...content. If not content... at least I'm not miserable. There are degrees. 1:11:43.380,1:11:50.250 But they are still controlled by you. You can also say I'm a little bit unhappy or a little 1:11:50.250,1:11:55.890 bit miserable. Instead of, "I'm absolutely miserable and I want to fix this and it's 1:11:55.890,1:12:05.520 your..." And making a huge giant drama out of it! It is possible to be unhappy. And just 1:12:05.520,1:12:12.630 sit with that and hold it. And try to create circumstances where you can move into a more 1:12:12.630,1:12:22.710 joyous situation, without a demand, without fear. The demand being self-will, the fear 1:12:22.740,1:12:27.690 being some invention in your mind that if I'm unhappy for five minutes, I'll be unhappy for 1:12:27.690,1:12:33.660 five years. And without the defense of pride, which is-- this isn't right, I shouldn't be 1:12:33.660,1:12:35.220 unhappy, I deserve better. 1:12:36.770,1:12:41.900 All of these defenses really don't address the possibility that under those 1:12:41.900,1:12:47.840 circumstances, any reasonable person would be unhappy. So you are actually in touch with 1:12:47.840,1:12:56.690 reality. It is an unhappy situation. By truly sitting with those feelings, you may then 1:12:57.230,1:13:05.660 become motivated to act to change those situations. Instead of drumming up a lot of 1:13:05.660,1:13:10.820 emotion and getting very upset, and acting out, and moving, which will shift the 1:13:10.820,1:13:21.500 feelings, but not necessarily address what created the situation in the first place. So 1:13:21.530,1:13:27.380 there is a creative power in the lower self to move energy. And yet, we are always 1:13:27.380,1:13:29.690 responsible for the energy that we move. 1:13:32.819,1:13:41.189 Origins of the lower self... The lower self is a natural quality of human beings. 1:13:42.059,1:13:48.809 Everybody has a lower self. The lower self is activated in childhood, early in childhood w 1:13:49.049,1:13:55.139 ere you simply don't get everything you w nt. You have a lot of beings around you who g 1:13:55.139,1:14:00.299 t to do what they want and they're all t lling you what you can and cannot do. It is a 1:14:00.299,1:14:07.859 reaction against circumstances that we d n't like. So the lower self generates in c 1:14:07.859,1:14:16.469 ildhood. Even "good" children who are good o the outside, it takes a psychologist to go i 1:14:16.469,1:14:22.169 there and find out if they're simmering w th rage, but have decided to play the game a 1:14:22.169,1:14:28.919 certain way because they think they can ma e the game give them what they want. So ap 1:14:28.949,1:14:34.469 earances can be can be deceiving. And I'm ju t going to make a broad statement--every hu 1:14:34.469,1:14:41.549 an being has lower self, it is activated in childhood. But depending on 1000 different qu 1:14:41.579,1:14:46.529 lities of who we are as a spiritual being, wh t our parents are like, what our pe 1:14:46.529,1:14:52.019 sonality is like, what the circumstances ar like... All those are going to impact how 1:14:52.019,1:15:00.689 e deal with lower self energies, how they anifest, and whether or not, for instance, 1:15:00.869,1:15:08.009 our family (and this is true of most familie ) will allow certain lower self energi 1:15:08.339,1:15:16.079 s license and the ability to move whi e repressing other lower self energie 1:15:16.630,1:15:23.590 What am I saying? Some families, many families refuse to let children get angry. 1:15:24.610,1:15:29.500 But they might actually be supportive of crying. 1:15:30.100,1:15:35.020 "Aww, poor thing. Yeah, you just cry. You just come over here and cry. We understand 1:15:35.020,1:15:35.350 that." 1:15:35.680,1:15:41.140 But if you're angry, I feel affronted. "You stop that, don't you yell at me!" 1:15:42.530,1:15:48.740 And yet the source of both those feelings could be the same event. And so what happens 1:15:48.740,1:15:53.900 to us as children if we realize that anger needs to be stopped and repressed, but this 1:15:53.900,1:16:00.170 other feeling is encouraged and allowed to flow. And the energy from repressed anger may 1:16:00.200,1:16:06.080 find the channel of the feelings that are allowed to be expressed. And so we become 1:16:06.080,1:16:12.050 like a tree that has to lean a certain way because of interference. And the tree doesn't 1:16:12.050,1:16:17.480 stop growing. It begins to grow in the direction that it is allowed to grow in. 1:16:19.850,1:16:25.910 So, the origin of the lower self in childhood... then the child does not stop 1:16:25.910,1:16:32.660 feeling or living. The child simply finds ways for the energy to express itself and act 1:16:32.660,1:16:43.610 out and move. So, all of us are trying to find an acceptable way to move the energy of 1:16:43.610,1:16:50.900 our feelings and to express ourselves. And depending again, on our personalities, we 1:16:50.900,1:16:55.580 will find the open, the open doors we'll go through. And the closed doors, after 1:16:55.580,1:17:00.770 battering on them for a period of time, we'll ignore them and go where the engery can move. 1:17:05.790,1:17:14.280 The Pathwork Guide uses a phrase called the "mass image of self-importance" which refers 1:17:14.280,1:17:22.620 to the childish qualities that humans have that they keep throughout their lifetime. 1:17:22.650,1:17:31.740 Many people are childish throughout their lifetime, meaning that they are only 1:17:31.740,1:17:40.530 concerned with what they want and how they feel. And getting what they feel is 1:17:40.530,1:17:46.470 acceptable and holding at bay what they feel is unacceptable, without trying to take a 1:17:46.470,1:17:53.580 larger perspective. So by using the phrase the "mass image of self importance" the Guide 1:17:53.580,1:18:00.870 is expressing that egocentric position that makes decisions based on "me" and "mine." 1:18:01.980,1:18:06.480 So when I teach the three spheres of consciousness: the individual self sphere, 1:18:06.480,1:18:13.140 the universal self sphere, and the universal sphere. The individual self sphere as we grow 1:18:13.140,1:18:22.260 up as social animals can, can can begin to include family, friends, villages, nations. 1:18:22.950,1:18:30.510 We can still have an individual self sphere outlook, even though we include other people 1:18:31.800,1:18:41.070 in our perception. But that is different from seeing another person's perspective who 1:18:41.070,1:18:47.040 doesn't agree with us, has a different point of view, and is making us uncomfortable. So 1:18:47.040,1:18:54.870 surrounding ourselves with people who agree with us, only insulates us more and makes us 1:18:54.930,1:18:59.340 ever more certain that our point of view is correct because everybody agrees with us. 1:19:01.460,1:19:09.290 The question is: have you ever looked at life from a different perspective? Have you ever 1:19:09.290,1:19:16.700 gone outside yourself? Have you ever talked to, or interviewed, or read, or explored 1:19:17.030,1:19:21.710 other points of view? So that you begin to see-- I have my point of view. And their's... 1:19:21.770,1:19:26.510 it's not necessarily a bad point of view. And this person has their point of view and it 1:19:26.510,1:19:31.670 does interfere with mine. But, but what's going on here? And where can there be a 1:19:31.670,1:19:33.320 meeting of these? 1:19:34.860,1:19:41.880 And for instance, the phrase "globalization" that is thrown around a lot right now is 1:19:41.880,1:19:49.860 about the different nations on the planet starting to find areas of compromise and 1:19:49.860,1:19:55.170 areas of agreement so they can begin to work in concert together, instead of 1:19:55.200,1:19:59.790 antagonistically only taking care of themselves. This is what I'm referring to. 1:20:00.480,1:20:05.790 When I talk about the fact that it is possible to grow into adulthood and still 1:20:05.790,1:20:11.550 have a childish perception of the world. And a lower self that acts out frequently and 1:20:11.550,1:20:18.090 without regard for anyone else. Because very often, towns, nations villages do the same 1:20:18.090,1:20:23.310 thing. Nations can do the same thing where they are acting out based on their own need 1:20:23.580,1:20:28.710 and not seeing the larger reality, which not only would help others, but would in the long 1:20:28.710,1:20:37.620 run help them. So I'm talking here about there's an innate lower self in child 1:20:37.620,1:20:38.430 consciousness. 1:20:40.250,1:20:46.280 The next point she makes is about karma and lower self. And this gets into the spiritual 1:20:46.280,1:20:52.370 qualities of Pathwork cosmology and how Pathwork looks at things. So, in terms of 1:20:52.370,1:21:00.950 lower self and karma, the way she expresses it is that every incarnation is just another 1:21:00.950,1:21:10.700 rung in the ladder on the evolution of the spirit as it engages with negativity and 1:21:10.700,1:21:17.180 learns to resolve it and become bigger, more aware, more enlightened, more willing to see 1:21:17.180,1:21:24.800 other points of view. So incarnation by incarnation, karma is an accounting system to 1:21:24.800,1:21:26.180 keep track of where you are. 1:21:27.260,1:21:32.750 And if you do not feel comfortable with the idea of incarnation, you can think of it in 1:21:32.750,1:21:38.840 simply in terms of--what have you learned in this lifetime? Most people don't believe the 1:21:38.840,1:21:46.340 same things they believed 10 years ago. Why? Because we grew. Because we started to 1:21:46.340,1:21:52.130 recognize other perspectives, other points of view. We lived our lives a little 1:21:52.130,1:21:59.750 differently. And we expanded our knowledge of human behavior and of ourselves. So whether 1:21:59.750,1:22:05.240 you wish to think of this in terms of incarnations, or you want to think of this in 1:22:05.240,1:22:10.700 terms of just the different decades and the growth period in a single individual human 1:22:10.700,1:22:19.670 life... the concept of karma can still apply. 1:22:20.410,1:22:28.150 Being that, I believe it's an old testament phrase, "you reap what you sow." So that if 1:22:28.150,1:22:34.450 you put out a lot of negativity in the world, you will... cause an effect, you will have 1:22:34.450,1:22:40.180 that come back at you. When you're only talking about one lifetime, it's easier to 1:22:40.180,1:22:45.640 see the cause and effect. On a spiritual level, if you do accept the idea of multiple 1:22:45.640,1:22:51.880 incarnations, imagine if you would, that you are receiving negativity in this lifetime 1:22:52.060,1:22:56.950 because a negative you put out in the world carelessly and inappropriately or with 1:22:56.950,1:23:00.910 deliberate evil intention five lifetimes ago. 1:23:01.840,1:23:08.140 It is very, very difficult for us to really accept that what's happening in our life 1:23:08.140,1:23:17.560 today is fair when we do not remember how this was generated. Again, I like real world 1:23:17.560,1:23:21.730 examples. It's like being born with somebody... with the feeling that there's 1:23:21.730,1:23:28.000 somebody else's credit card debt and you have inherited it. And you go through life with 1:23:28.000,1:23:34.810 this huge debt, saying, "but I didn't spend the money. I didn't buy the boat. I didn't 1:23:34.810,1:23:39.820 buy the house. I didn't buy the things. I didn't get the pleasure. But I've gotten all 1:23:39.820,1:23:40.810 the bills." 1:23:41.650,1:23:50.860 That's what karma can feel like sometimes, if you cannot connect cause and effect. A lot of 1:23:50.860,1:23:54.550 cause and effect happens right in this lifetime so you don't have to go back to past 1:23:54.550,1:24:00.910 lives. But in a situation where in this lifetime you are dealing with a very large 1:24:00.940,1:24:08.320 number of negative circumstances, it can be supportive to consider that-- if life is 1:24:08.320,1:24:18.190 fair, you bear some responsibility for this. And that by working with these situations, by 1:24:18.190,1:24:26.830 attempting to be honorable, kind, understanding, generous, and loving, you can 1:24:26.860,1:24:31.510 move through these situations with grace despite their negativity or their seeming 1:24:31.510,1:24:39.460 unfairness. In effect what the concept of karma is that you are working off karma, by 1:24:39.460,1:24:42.640 your attitude to what you're dealing with. 1:24:44.280,1:24:54.600 So that you can grow spiritually. Simply by enlarging your attitude and seeing a bigger 1:24:54.600,1:25:01.080 point of view. And not choosing to act out and try to demand instant justification or 1:25:01.080,1:25:09.000 instant justice for what you see in front of you. So what I'm speaking to here is that if 1:25:09.000,1:25:18.270 we choose fear, if we choose revenge, from a karmic standpoint, we're building negativity. 1:25:19.650,1:25:26.550 If we choose to attempt to understand, however imperfectly, we enact that we are 1:25:26.550,1:25:28.440 choosing a positive attitude. 1:25:31.170,1:25:36.240 So I don't, I don't really care to teach karma. And I don't want to shove it down 1:25:36.240,1:25:40.110 someone's throat. And I don't know the attitudes of the people listening to this 1:25:41.010,1:25:47.190 tape. But I wanted to mention that because a lot of spiritual philosophies work with the 1:25:47.190,1:25:54.240 concept of karma. And why the reason I wanted to mention it is that lower self likes to 1:25:54.240,1:26:00.300 pretend that it doesn't deserve what's happening. And that by working with the 1:26:00.300,1:26:04.920 concept of karma, we might be able to get a larger perspective that actually covers 1:26:04.920,1:26:09.120 several lifetimes. And realize that even though we don't understand what's happening, 1:26:10.350,1:26:14.640 this negativity that's in front of us, this difficulty that we have to move through, 1:26:15.420,1:26:21.510 may've been something that was set in motion by us. Now, even if it wasn't set in motion 1:26:21.540,1:26:28.110 by us, even if what I'm saying is not true, you either move through it with grace and 1:26:28.110,1:26:33.240 positive intention or you go into fear and resistance and anger about it. 1:26:33.540,1:26:39.240 I have found that simply saying "whatever" and embracing the situation, allows me to 1:26:39.240,1:26:45.600 move through a situation more easily and with a more positive attitude than simply saying, 1:26:45.630,1:26:49.560 "it's not mine. This is not fair. And I'm going to kick my heels on the floor and cry 1:26:49.560,1:26:49.950 about it!" 1:26:55.210,1:27:04.150 So that that part leads me to a summary and that is that the Pathwork perspective of 1:27:04.150,1:27:14.770 lower self, negativity, karma, incarnation is based upon the idea that we are here to 1:27:14.770,1:27:16.450 purify our souls. 1:27:16.720,1:27:25.000 We are here to feel the negativity that is within us to allow it to move without acting 1:27:25.060,1:27:32.680 upon it. That, for instance, when we feel anger and we feel well I'm angry at it's 1:27:32.680,1:27:38.830 unjustified. Part of the purification is not trying to find a target for this anger. 1:27:40.600,1:27:46.480 Allowing the anger, allowing the movement. Working with the anger as best we can. Find 1:27:46.480,1:27:51.790 therapy, find friends, you know, find whatever tools you feel you need to do this. 1:27:52.540,1:27:59.860 To allow the anger, to allow the feelings, but to not attempt to justify it by pinning 1:28:00.160,1:28:08.080 reasons on a particular circumstance unless it is momentarily justified. So someone steps 1:28:08.080,1:28:13.510 on my toe and I'm angry and they did it and I can be angry at them. But once they get off 1:28:13.510,1:28:20.950 my foot, once they move away and let me be, if I continue to be angry, that is very 1:28:20.950,1:28:27.310 likely not about the circumstance. That's very likely about something else. Now, I'm 1:28:27.310,1:28:30.310 not talking about residue, it might take a few moments to calm down. 1:28:31.470,1:28:39.630 But to be angry for an hour about your foot being stepped on, instantly means that 1:28:39.630,1:28:46.650 something else is going on. And the Pathwork perspective is, that's your opportunity to 1:28:46.650,1:28:51.750 start taking a look at what's going on at your inner life and working that out and 1:28:51.750,1:28:59.670 purifying it to the place where you are appropriately angry, on a given situation in 1:28:59.670,1:29:06.510 a given time period. And you allow your feelings to move. And you don't try to solve 1:29:06.540,1:29:13.920 other situations with the wrong situation. You don't do displacement. That in that way 1:29:14.010,1:29:16.620 we are clearing our soul of negativities. 1:29:18.540,1:29:23.790 And whether you believe that that is a several lifetime process or a single lifetime 1:29:23.790,1:29:31.500 process doesn't really change the process itself... of self-analysis, of looking at 1:29:31.500,1:29:36.570 your feelings, and looking at your actions, and looking at your negativities, finding out 1:29:36.570,1:29:43.080 where they're coming from within you. And addressing, as carefully, as responsibly, as 1:29:43.080,1:29:52.950 you can the causes that you find. So that's the presentation on facing the lower self. 1:29:54.430,1:29:59.680 If there any questions, I'm happy to answer them. And I have agreed to do... a up to 1:29:59.680,1:30:04.900 one-hour ession after this ends, to answer questions if you don't feel like being 1:30:05.290,1:30:10.150 tape-recorded for your questions. If anybody has some right now, I would like to answer. 1:30:14.470,1:30:19.780 Okay, so we'll end this presentation. And I thank you very much for being here. I have 1:30:19.780,1:30:25.780 enjoyed working with the topic. And for those of you who wish to join me, I'll be back on 1:30:25.780,1:30:27.580 the phone in about 20 minutes. So thank you very much. 1:30:30.260,1:30:32.260 Thanks, Jan! 1:30:32.260,1:30:34.260 Thank you! 1:30:34.260,1:30:36.260 You're very welcome! 1:30:36.260,1:30:38.260 [Music starts playing]